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Over the hill clothes

Posted Tuesday, November 1, 2011, at 6:11 PM

While browsing through a catalog this week, it struck me that few of the models depicted in the publication, resemble anyone I know.

The slender, willowy, curvaceous models couldn't weigh over 100 pounds soaking wet.

They are gorgeous, small-waisted, and disgustingly young with long slender legs.

Yes, the catalogs sell size 3x but the models are modeling the smaller size, size 1x.

It occurs to me that catalogs should showcase those millions of women who are pudgy, fighting the bulge, and average.

Where are the grandmothers? They buy clothes too. Shouldn't there be a page or two of grandmotherly models? And those who wear size 12-14 or 16 or bigger?

Don't the catalog people realize that heavier women want pants with elastic in the waist and relaxed fit? There are women who can't wear the cinched in waists or slim tights. They want pretty blouses that fit over the pants, not tucked in with a wide belt.

And the jeans being touted for the last two or three years are a joke and a discredit for the over the hill segment. The jeans, with low cut waists, are meant for the younger slimmer set, not middle agers. It is the heavier females, both young and old, who have muffin tops hanging over the low cut jeans. The below the waist jeans are certainly unflattering to the full figured woman. The 'sits at the waist' jeans are more suitable for most women.

While attending the Corning Fall Festival last month, I saw many examples of the below the waist jean. There was a lot of skin showing between the tops and the low cut jeans.

But finding the jeans that fit at the waist are becoming more scarce in department stores or catalogs.

It occurred to me when the low cut jeans first hit the market that manufacturers were saving a lot of money in jean material because they use less material and shorter zippers. Pockets aren't as deep either. All that had to be a boon for the manufacturer. All they had to do was convince the public that the jeans were a fashionable must have.

I predict the fad will disappear in a year or two. The fad may go the way of the mini skirt and bell bottoms, and, I hope, the teenager's baggy pants that hang on the hips.

Fat men aren't represented in catalogs either, but most men could care less. They don't look at catalogs.

Instead they go to a store, grab a pair of pants, and they are out the door.

When their pants or shirts don't fit anymore, they accuse the wife of shrinking them in the dryer.

She knows better but coaxes him into buying the next bigger size. Or she takes it upon herself to go buy a bigger pair for him. Some older men are happy with a pair of suspenders and an old feed cap.

The flawless male models in catalogs are young, slim, handsome with a full head of hair. They don't wear size 44 jackets or XXL shirts.

No, they model size 32 pants and none of them are middle aged.

True, I did see one young model who was bald, but he's a rarity among male models.

Have you noticed that many men go beltless, especially with jeans or cargo pants? The loops on the jeans are still there but the belt is missing.

Time was, no man would leave the house without his belt. Nowdays it is perfectly fashionable to do so.

Another thought. The only older models I've seen on television ads are those selling insurance, like AARP, or Allstate. Or Medicare health plans or reverse mortgages. And, of course, The Scooter Store.

Even so, those pitchmen are attractive, grayhaired spokesmen, some over the hill movie stars.

I guess we oldsters need to rebel, just as patriots did during the Boston Tea Party.

We need representation.

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From these hills
By Peggy Johnson
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