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Tuesday, Sep. 16, 2014
Being a mind readerPosted Tuesday, January 25, 2011, at 9:51 AM
To have a successful marriage, one must know how to read minds.
My friend Eve says she's still learning. When her husband walks into a room, looks blank, and turns his hands palms up, that means he has misplaced his cap.
She says, "It's in the bedroom on the bed post where you left it." He nods yes and hurries to retrieve it.
Husbands and wives send those mind messages to each other all the time.
When he walks into the house and announces "I only have two hands" that means he needs her to come outside and help him with his latest project.
When he asks if she wants him to run out and get some carryouts for supper, what he's really saying is that he's getting hungry and wants her to start cooking,
When she says not to bother buying her a birthday present, he'd better bother.
My friend Eve hinted for a ruby ring for her birthday. Instead he bought her a nice purse. Days later she was still mad. He wanted to know what was wrong. "You know perfectly well what's wrong," she said, but he didn't have a clue. He was supposed to read her mind.
When he comes in from work and says, "My feet are killing me," she knows what he's thinking. He isn't going to take her bowling/dancing/dining. Don't bother to suggest it.
She tells him he didn't take out the trash. He says she never told him to. She responds by saying, "Do I have to tell you everything?" He answers, "I can't read your mind."
He reads her mind loud and clear when she starts slamming cabinet doors and banging pots and pans. She's upset and he'd better be finding out why. But she's not talking.
There are ways to improve communication in marriage. Mind reading isn't one of them.
Don't ever try to read your spouse's mind or guess at his or her motives.
If you want to know your spouse's motives or thoughts, ask.
Assume the positive, not the negative.
Don't hint. Dropping hints is asking for eventual trouble.
Say what you mean. It's good to make one's wishes known in a tactful way, but be clear and don't force your spouse into trying to read your mind.
God gave us the gift of speech and we need to use it.
He didn't make many mind readers. It didn't take a rocket scientist to read Eve's mind, but God didn't make many rocket scientists either.