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Leftover fruitcake

Posted Tuesday, December 28, 2010, at 2:05 PM

Christmas 2010 is past.

And the New Year is on the horizon.

Now the question is what to do with the leftover fruitcake.

Of course, it can be incorporated into numerous recipes, such as fruitcake stuffing, bread pudding or chocolate covered fruitcake balls.

Or fed to the birds and squirrels.

Or recycled into useful items.

The traditional use is for a doorstop.

Or a paperweight or a pin cushion.

Or a pencil holder.

Or bookends.

A boat anchor.

Other suggestions are for ammunition in a sling shot.

Or for speed bumps to slow traffic in front of your house.

And to block the wheels of a vehicle.

Stale fruitcake slices can be used to balance a wobbly table.

Or crumbled to use as compost or kitty litter.

Hunks of fruitcake can be kept under one's pillow for home defense.

Or it can be used for target practice in skeet shooting.

A two pound fruitcake can be used as a weight lift in lieu of barbells: Lay on your stomach and put your arms and feet in the air while holding a fruitcake straight out in front of you. Hold the pose for as long as you can, working up to 30 seconds. This will strengthen lower back muscles.

Residents of Manitou Springs, Col., fling leftover fruitcake from handcrafted catapults, and a trophy is awarded to the overall winner.

Some suggest using fruitcakes as sandbags or building material.

On cold wintry nights, an oblong fruitcake can be used in place of a Duraflame log..

Bored youngsters can have a fruitcake toss, preferably outdoors.

Fruitcake can be fashioned into bowling pins.

Used to weigh down your tent.

A scratcher to clean pots and pans.

A scratching post for your cat.

A stepping block for aerobics.

A footstool.

At last resort, put them in a yard sale.

Of course, you can store, then later eat the leftover fruitcake.

That's what two bakeries in Claxton, Ga., population 2,200, recommend.

Their city limits signs and a 50-foot high water tower boast the slogan "Fruitcake Capital of the World."

There you will find the Georgia Fruit Cake Co., which ships fruitcakes all over the world and online.

The Wombles' bakery makes fruitcakes mostly for sale to military bases.

Ira Womble says he doesn't run from fruitcake jokes. He's heard most of them.

It's substandard fruitcakes that tarnish the dessert's reputation, he says. Not his.

"Stored in the refrigerator, unfrozen, they're good pretty much indefinitely," Womble says.

Yeah, that we know, Mr. Womble.

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