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Wednesday, Mar. 29, 2017

Aging can be funny

Posted Tuesday, November 30, 2010, at 1:30 PM

When people grow old, they begin to view things in a different way. Though the appearance changes outwardly, often the older person feels young inside. Jokes and bumper stickers speak for the elderly sometimes.

A recent bumper sticker read, "I'm retired. I was tired yesterday. I'm tired again today."

Another said, "Enjoy life. It isn't a dress rehearsal." Yet another said, "Bingo keeps grandma off the streets."

In the golden years, mundane things become important. Coffee is one of the most important things in your life, and your recliner is your best friend.

The weather channel is your favorite television show.

You like to swap stories about operations.

You are proud of your lawnmower.

You notice that your arms are getting too short to read the newspaper.

And the flesh on your upper arms begins to swing to and fro.

You have dimples but now they are on your thighs in the form of cellulite.

You feel comfortable wearing black socks with house shoes.

You can live without a lot of things, but not your eyeglasses.

You know what Efferdent is, even if you don't use it.

You feel old when your bank sends you their free calendar...one month at a time.

(I can remember that for years before my mom died at age 93, she received a birthday card from the local funeral home).

You sing along with Looney Tunes.

You cry when you see Charlotte's Web with your great grandchildren.

You enjoy retirement but you never get a day off.

But you know that any day above ground is a good one.

You can recommend a good doctor because you've been to most of them.

Your medicine cabinet is full of magic potions called pills.

Senility isn't all bad either. You can wrap your own Christmas presents. You never see a rerun and you meet "new" people every day. You can hear the same joke over and over again and never get bored.

Your bumper sticker reads, "I'm speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I'm going."

Never think that I'm making light of senility. I'm not. My mother suffered from Alzheimer's disease before she died. The changes were devastating, physically and mentally.

Yet, mom and I laughed many times over some silliness. She liked to sing, so lots of times I turned on the gospel CD's and we sang to the top of our voices. Then we would laugh and sing some more.

"Is that right?" she'd ask after she sang the wrong words to a hymn. "That's close enough," I'd answer. Then she would nod off into a deep sleep.

No, old age isn't for sissies. It brings its own challenges.

But sometimes it can be fun.

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From these hills
By Peggy Johnson
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